Hire Auctioneer

Auction, Big Raffle, Prizes?

Make Em Laugh - Raise More Money!


Hire an Auctioneer

Hire An Auctioneer

Hire An Auctioneer

Hire a great auctioneer and raise a bundle of money. Easy.

Below are the comedians that are exceptional as auctioneers. Well versed in making proceedings pop.
Feel free to have a browse and then get in touch!

Auctioneers of the Month

Hire Bob MillsHire Greg BurnsHire Ben Norris Hire Paul TonkinsonHire Phil JupitusHire Stephen K Amos Hire Terry AldertonHire Hal Cruttenden

Comedians That Are Excellent Auctioneers

Hire Simon EvansHire Micky FlanaganHire Frank Skinner Hire Bobby DavroHire Jo BrandHire Adam Bloom Hire Greg DaviesHire Lee MackHire Al Murray Hire Alan CarrHire Andrew MaxwellHire Andy Parsons Hire Dara O BriainHire Jack DeeHire Jack Whitehall Hire Lee HurstHire Marcus Brigstocke

The Definitive Guidebook to A Cracking Auction
Auctions haven’t really changed much through the decades; perhaps that’s why we love them. Anyway, we thought that instead of us telling you how to hold a cracking auction, we’d just re issue this 1950’s Definitive Guidebook. The rules are all the same.

Aucioneer Hire Guide

1. Make Sure your Auction is not of Poor Quality

You’ve put your thinking cap on and you’ve thought, “How on earth can I raise some money for a new record player/Perry Como vinyl/poodle skirt (delete as applicable). Hurrah. By auction of course!” Sadly, we feel that we’ve got to tell you something. No one cares. We understand that was rather harsh but the truth hurts. You need bottoms firmly planted on seats to raise money. You need publicity. You need people to be interested. Well you can stop your fretting because we’ve got the solution; a Bespoke comedian as an auctioneer! Sounds good already, doesn’t it? People love to watch a comedian because they never know in which direction he/she might go. All very exciting stuff. Crack on.

2. Check with the Auctioneer that He knows how to Run the Auction

Comedians won’t just bring in the crowds because they’re incredibly popular, regularly selling out venues that Perry Como performs in but also because they know exactly how to control a room; the most important skill of an auctioneer. Comedians know how to make people be quiet, listen and join in. It’s what they’re all about! They are also well-versed in warming up the crowds and encouraging a bit of audience interaction. This fits in perfectly with the role of an auctioneer. In addition to this, if things go a bit skew-whiff, the comedian-auctioneer can deal with it very quickly using his razor sharp wit. So don’t worry too much, if in the excitement you bid for a corvette automobile in the auction. The auctioneer can make a quick quip about it and it will all become part of a jolly good (costly) joke!

3. Get the Absolute Best Hammer Price for Every Item

To ensure one gets the best price, the auctioneer must be confident, a risk taker and excellent at reading human behaviour which are all character traits attributed to comedians. Just as a joke might be pushed to the edge of good taste, so a comedian-auctioneer will push up the price of the bids, by encouraging his audience to get involved, sharing hilarious jokes with them and divesting them of their cash. Brilliant.

In the words of the great Perry Como, have a “magic moment” and take on a Bespoke comedian-auctioneer.

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